Blane Ellsworth May 17, 2025
How to Tell Your Friends You’re Having a Small Wedding (Without Hurting Their Feelings)
Planning a small wedding is a deeply personal choice—and one that often sparks tricky conversations. Whether you're inviting just immediate family or planning an elopement, the hardest part might be explaining your decision to people who expected an invitation.
Here’s how to break the news gently, honestly, and with heart.
Start by acknowledging your love and appreciation for your friends. Then explain your vision.
“We care so much about you, and that’s why I wanted to share this with you personally. We’ve decided to have a very small wedding—just immediate family—because we really want something quiet and simple.”
People may feel left out, but when you're upfront and warm, it eases the sting.
You don’t need to apologize for choosing a wedding that reflects your values. Confidence in your decision gives others permission to respect it too.
“We’re keeping things small so we can focus on a very personal celebration. I hope you can understand, and I’d love to share pictures or celebrate another way!”
If someone feels hurt, give them a role in another way:
Invite them to your engagement party or post-wedding brunch.
Share your vows or photos afterward.
Schedule a special dinner just for the two of you.
Silence can make people feel excluded. Instead of hoping they “won’t notice,” reach out personally. A phone call, heartfelt text, or handwritten card goes a long way.
Remember why you chose a small wedding: intimacy, simplicity, cost, meaning. You don’t have to defend it—you just have to be kind and clear.
You can’t control everyone’s feelings—but you can lead with love. And often, your true friends will show you their hearts in how they respond.
